Record heat today!

The projected temperature in Spartanburg, SC today is 97! WOW! I'm definitely getting some sun today! Today will consist of spending the day at the pool with a good friend and 5 sweet kiddos! It is so much fun to hang out with pretty amazing kids. I've come to realize that spending time with them gives me more and more experience taking care of children, and maybe up until this point God knew I wasn't really ready for a child of my own yet. Everyday I'm with sweet babies and young children, I learn more about what kind of mother I want to be. I thank the Lord for giving me good friends with GREAT kids to hang out with. I know one day all this "preparation" will pay off when I have one of my own!

Stay cool today! It's gonna be a HOT one!!

Exciting news today!

We finally heard back from the couple selling the lot and they are asking $1000 less than they originally paid for it. We were thinking they would ask more, but they didn't! We (at least I am, I can't speak for Jason yet) are so excited about what this could mean for our family. We will just leave it up to God from here. I see a new house being built in my future!!

Before the Morning

Don't you just love when a song comes on the radio at the exact time you need to hear it? If that doesn't tell you God is watching over you and protecting you, I don't know what will! This morning on my ride to work, I heard the song "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson. I think I have heard this song before, many times actually, but not until this morning did it have a special message from God directly to me! I hope this song will bless you in any circumstance you are going through at the moment. God is faithful. He loves and adores us. Remember, "it's just the dark before the morning."

Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you?
If there's a God who loves you
Where is He now?

Or maybe there are things you can't see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday, somehow you'll see, you'll see

Would you dare, would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing?
'Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on, you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
'Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
And you know where you're going
You just don't know how you'll get there
So say a prayer

And hold on
'Cause there's good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time, but you'll see the bigger picture

Chorus

Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory
Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory, memory, memory, yeah

Chorus

Come on, you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
'Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It's just the hurt before the healing

Oh, the pain that you've been feeling
It's just the dark before the morning
Yeah, yeah, before the morning
Yeah, yeah, before the morning

Is that song encouraging or what? I love that the Lord uses our wonderful Christian artists in order to write songs of encouragement, streaming from the Lord's own mouth. Know that Jesus loves you, and many times we just have to wait. Waiting is hard. We don't like to wait. But I will wait, because again, this trial right now is just the dark before the morning. There's joy that's coming and I'm excited to bare witness to it!

SUMMER IS HERE!

Just had to post really quickly this morning:) Today is the last day of school...no more teaching for a couple months! Just relaxing and vacationing! To those who are not teachers, be jealous;)

Stronger

Oh, how I LOVE this song! Mandisa is such an amazing Christian artist and I hope you will go to youtube or download this song from itunes. It goes a little like this:

Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger

I love this song and it's a true testament to the love of Christ. The Lord has a reason for everything, and even in this trial, I know He will see me through! A quote from a blogger friend touched me tonight. It's by Beth Moore:

"God knows when something glorious in the future necessitates something difficult in the present. Because He knows the glory will be worth it, God will risk being misunderstood." - Beth Moore

Cycle 4 day 2

Well, I started my 4th round of Clomid yesterday. Hit me with the hot flashes, lol! Last month I would wake up sweating profusely and would immediately get cold again once I threw the covers off. Praying this month will be it:)

On another note, school is almost out...no more teaching for a couple months!! I'm thrilled! Also, I've been talking to Jason lately about the idea of moving back to the eastside of town (closer to my parents AND work AND well...everything)! We found a lot that we really like and should hear from the sellers soon. We are hoping it will be something we feel comfortable paying.

We have no clue about time frame...I think actually getting the lot is our first priority. Then, the biggest thing would be selling our house...IN THIS MARKET. We are trusting the Lord and even though I tend to jump into things I want extremely fast, I'm trying to lean on the Lord and let Him guide us where he wants us to go. In the mean time, it sure is fun looking at house plans! Here's a few pics I've gathered so far that I LOVE: who knew building your own home could be so FUN!

love that tray ceiling

Isn't the ceiling a neat touch..and that fireplace!!
love this one story open concept plan with a beautiful wrap around deck!

my dream kitchen! so bright and beautiful!

I'll keep you updated as to anything we find out in the near future about moving forward with this adventure!

Always a wife, but can't become a mommy

Just needed to vent a minute since it seems like every 5 seconds, someone else is announcing their news of being pregnant. Just when I have talked myself into "ok it's just not the right timing now, and the Lord has a better plan" my emotions come in full swing hearing other people's news of pregnancy. I want a baby more than anything in this world, and as much as I trust my heavenly father, my heart still aches...is that ok? Is it normal? I don't know. I just know today wasn't such a great day for me. I'll get over it, the process will start again, and hey...maybe next month?

Another day, another round of Clomid

So, today was day 33 of my cycle until about 10 minutes ago when my lovely AF decided to grace me with its presence. I don't know why I thought maybe this was the month, but sadly it's not. This upcomoing round of Clomid will be my 4th round. I have continually told the Lord that I am content with His timing and I will stick by that. While it was disappointing to not be pregnant this month, I know there are other things (better things) the Lord has planned for me at the moment.

I'm not sure how anyone going through certain trials such as this and do not have a personal relationship with the Lord can get through hard times. My Jesus is my comfort, the peace no one else can give, the shoulder to cry on when my emotions run wild, and my heavenly daddy who tells me every minute that everything will be ok. He continually reminds me of His presence in my life and His power to conquer any obstacle. I know He will conquer my fertililty issues in His own way at His own time. I trust you Lord. I love you Lord. Watch over my family and me during this time, keep us safe, and deliver us from the disappointment in this moment. Remind us daily that you are in control and will never let us down.

Baby Ella

Today Ella Ann Ryan was born to our good friends Thomas and Susie! We went to visit them tonight and Ella is beyond perfect! We are overjoyed for this new addition and can't wait to watch her grow up with her big sisters! Can't wait until we get to welcome a baby to our family! Until then, we have lots of new babies to love on:)

Another 5 minute doc visit

So, I met with Dr. Toler today to talk about maybe getting the HSG test done. I don't really know what I expected to get out of the visit, but being 24 years old, I think she would rather me just do the next 3 months of Clomid, and THEN if I'm still not pregnant, that test would be necessary.

Mind you, the test is like a $700 test. So, that's hard to foot too! I called my insurance company to see how much if any they would pay and I really didn't get a direct answer for that either. While they do cover some of that test IF the claim is accepted, if it's not deemed a necessary procedure, they won't cover anything. So, my guess is that since I am still young enough where really (to everyone else) there's no hurry or worry of not getting pregnant immediately, I doubt it would be covered.

So, after talking to Jason and my mom I think sticking with the Clomid a little longer is not a bad idea. I'm not the most patient person, but I think waiting to do this test is probably the best decision for us right now. Please pray for us as we are having to be patient and follow the Lord's guidance. It can definitely be tough.

I'm a blogger!

So, I decided to create a blog. Hmm...never really thought I'd be the type to want to put all my business out for the world to see; however, this journey I've been on for close to a year has pulled and tugged at my heart enough that I hope blogging will be an outlet for me. Not only to benefit myself but I hope something, anything I may write about will give comfort to others going through the same thing.

So, what you might ask am I blogging about? Fertility. Who ever thinks they will ever have a problem getting pregnant? I sure didn't. It just seemed to be such an easy thing, but that is definitely not the case, for me at least. My husband, Jason, and I started trying last April 2010 for a baby. Just recently I decided to consult my OBGYN about fertility drugs and started taking Clomid in February 2011. I am currently on my 3rd cycle of it.

For those of you unfamiliar with Clomid, it's just a pill you take on days 5-9 of your cycle in hopes it will make you ovulate. After the first month and some expensive blood tests, the doctor said my progesterone level was a 20 (which is good, means I ovulated). They say anything over a 10 when on Clomid is good. So, at least we know I'm ovulating. However, with no apparent luck in 3 cycles, I have made an appointment with my OBGYN to talk about some other tests.

Just in case you were wondering, my husband has been tested and everything with him checked out. Now, it's my turn. I'm hoping to get the HSG test done next month. This test basically is able to tell if there is any blockage or problems with my reproductive organs. They insert a catheter (I've heard it's painful) and shoot a dye into your fallopian tubes and do x-rays to see if anything is wrong. After what I've read about the test, I've heard it's painful, expensive, but short. This will hopefully give us some answers in that regard.

Our appointment to discuss these options is tomorrow, May 3, 2011. Wish us luck:) We completely trust in the Lord to give us patience while we wait on His perfect timing for a baby. Always trust in the Lord in whatever trial you encounter. He's the only one who knows the outcome. He's the only one that can give you a peace and understanding that surpasses anything we can humanly imagine. God loves you, and so do I! Thanks for reading!