I have had so many people contact me and tell me how glad they are that I have blogged about my journey with infertility. Many people wonder why or how I can be so open about something that can be so devastating, embarrassing, and painful. For about a year or so, it was all three of those things. I created this blog to get my thoughts out there, but at first I had no intention of making my blog "available" for my close friends and acquaintances. I didn't understand why I was going through this and maybe, just maybe it would end soon and I would have a baby like everyone else. Well, I'm still waiting.
But the waiting is not devastating, embarrassing, or painful anymore. Through prayer to my Lord and Savior, I have learned so many things in the past 2.5-3 years. First, the Lord has a perfect plan for my life. That perfect plan is obviously not my perfect plan. I've learned to be ok with that. The Lord has blessed my family and I with such wonderful opportunities that I may not have experienced if I had gotten pregnant on my time. I'm thankful the Lord's plan trumps mine:)
I have hoped that my blog will encourage others struggling with infertility to be more vocal about it and realize that they are not alone. We are all in this together, and all of us know that strong desire for a child. For those of you who never had trouble getting pregnant, the desire infertile people have for a child may not be classified as more of a desire, but that desire grows stronger after a long time waiting. I truly believe waiting for something makes it that much sweeter when we get it! The Lord promises us to give us our heart's desire in His timing, and the Lord's promises have no expiration people! He may not give us what we desire exactly when we desire it or how we desire it, but He'll give us exactly what we need.
Now, many of you have heard of IVF (in-vitro fertilization), but may not understand exactly what it entails. IUI (intrauterine insemination) is another treatment method some try. We have been through Clomid, Femara, and 2 rounds of IUI with no success. What's the difference between IUI and IVF? Well, the best way to describe it to you is like this:
IUI - male gives sperm sample, doctors "wash" the sperm, and use a catheter to get those sperm closer to the released egg (cuts down on the travel time for the sperm). The sperm still has to do its job--get to the egg and fertilize it.
IVF - female does injections for 10-14 days while every other day or few days is monitored via ultrasound to see how the follicles (sac that holds the egg) are growing. Once they are at a certain size indicating an egg has been produced, doctors will do a 20-30 minute egg retrieval (while patient is sedated). Male will give a sperm sample that day and embryologist will combine sperm and eggs (in certain cases, they will insert excellent, high quality sperm into each egg retrieved to ensure better chance of fertilization-ICSI-video below). Doctors/embryologist will watch the eggs for 3-5 days to see cells divide and become embryos. Certain embryos will be better that others. Once the doctor analyzes how many embryos would most likely implant well and grow into healthy babies, a determined # will be transferred back into the patient's uterus. After 12-14 days, the patient takes a pregnancy test to determine whether she is pregnant.
I don't know everything, but I've learned a lot and I hope I've helped some of you (struggling with infertility or not) understand what many infertile couples go through. Those who have not struggled with infertility sometimes want to console infertile friends by saying things like "just don't stress," "it will happen when you least expect it," "stop trying," or "it'll happen, don't worry" and no offense, but we don't want to hear that from you. We'd rather you just say something like "I'm sorry, you're going through this, it must be hard" or "I don't understand what you're going through, but I'm here for you if you need me."
Many times, fertility treatments like IUIs and IVF are the only methods some people have to get pregnant. I have the upmost respect for all the doctors and nurses at PREG who are willing to help me go through the process of IVF and hopefully become pregnant very soon. I've never met any other medical professionals in the infertility field who are as compassionate and caring as the ones at PREG. If you're looking for a clinic, you've found one at PREG!
I'm going to leave you with an animation of what IVF (with ICSI) is like. For those of you who don't know a lot about IVF, I hope this will allow you to become more informed and compassionate for those around you facing infertility. Until next time, tata!
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